Do Not Recommend: I read them, so you don't have to
- Michael Ireland
- May 7
- 2 min read
In the last year or so I've read some excellent books and discovered some new favorite authors. These are not those books. While I didn't hate the experience of reading any of these titles, I can't recommend them to anyone.
Terrorists kidnap a group of privileged young adults in order to hijack a ghost ship with a horrific past. Sounds cool right? Tired plot, okay characters, and trite horror themes drag the experience down. Alright, that's probably a bit harsh. The author works hard to build rounded and believable characters and a near future sci/fi setting that feels real and lived in, but we spend more time rehashing every character's tragic past than we do advancing anything of interest in the narrative. I think this book could work, but it doesn't do anything to distinguish itself or innovate.
The 1970 Nebula Award winning sci-fi novel featuring the titular mega-structure that would inspire the Halo series, Larry Niven's Ringworld is a more interesting concept than it is novel. Populated with flat, uninteresting characters that are annoying at the best of times, Ringworld's explorers are frequently reduced to singular personality traits; the feline alien is always aggressive, the four-legged herbivore is constantly cowedly, and our main human protagonist is an arrogant misogynist. There's a lot of fun to be had as our unlikely crew journeys across the ring encountering strange flora, fauna, and ominous ruins. Unfortunately, the novel lacks a compelling narrative, and a lot of the plot feels like aimless filler. I can see the appeal, but this is one classic I'd leave on the shelf.
I'll bail on a book. If I'm not feeling it, I won't finish it, and I almost quit on this one. The book opens with a collection of hit or miss short stories before it gets to the meat and potatoes, The Pink Agave Motel itself. Forget about a plot synopsis because I can't recall much happening other than our main character pining over some dude we know nothing about. The content here is not for the faint of heart, but the shock value of many of the stories feels cliche and tired. There are some really unique ideas sprinkled throughout, but all in all much of the book reads like bad fan fiction complete with editing issues and typos.
I'm still torn on this book. I really want to like Wake up and open your eyes but the disjointed structure and shifting perspective are making that hard. Widespread demonic possession through things like sensationalized 24hr news networks, mommy bloggers and health influencers, social media, and even viral children's songs is a really cool and creepy idea. However, what we end up with is a story without much direction that kills off nearly every character by the end. The author makes some prescient points about our relationship to modern media, but it never crystalizes into a compelling theme. I still enjoyed this book more than the others on this list for what it's worth.
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